Isn’t goodbye the weirdest feeling?
Many of the times I’ve said goodbye in my life have been on my terms. I like to take control of my own destiny. I make decisions quickly for the most part. And I am queen of letting things go [I don’t have a 100% clean sheet, but on the whole… I will take the trash out when it’s time to do so].
The hardest times have been saying goodbye when it is not entirely on my terms. The most obvious and painful example of that is when someone dies – never on our terms, never easy to deal with, and one of the most earth shattering human experiences we ever have to endure. The echoes of those kind of goodbyes are felt through decades. I can still hear the echoes of broken heartbeats from people who passed in my early teens. And I’ll hear all of those echoes for many years to come. Probably for all of the years to come to be honest.
But thankfully not all goodbyes are as visceral as that.
I’m saying goodbye to a lot of things lately. And it isn’t always easy. Periods of change like this are super exciting for me, but they also induce a lot of reflection, and sometimes that reflection is painful.
Over the past few years I’ve made and broken several connections with people. And not all of those breaks have been on my terms. I’ve lost friendships that I didn’t know came with conditions attached.
That’s the hardest part.
When you realise that this is goodbye, forever. And that really you weren’t aware that all the time and energy you’d put into someone else was not being reciprocated, or rather, was only being reciprocated while it was attached to another value exchange…
You can’t like everyone. And not everyone will like you. [At least, not if you’re doing it right and being you – turned all the way up, unapologetically, wonderfully, who you are. That really triggers people. So they wont always like you.]
But even if you don’t like someone, if they aren’t your cup of tea, it’s still important to be kind. Your opinion on that person is really not that valuable. Remarkable as that might be!
I like to remind myself that ‘we are all God’. And [partly] what I mean by that is – none of us are.
We are all divine, we all have divinity within us, we all have a unique purpose here. But at the same time, we are nothing but a collective, and we are nothing without the collective.
So while we’re passing judgments on others, as though our opinions matter, it is always worth remembering that in actual fact, our opinions matter no more, or less, than whatever or whoever we are judging.
So maybe we should keep more of our opinions to ourselves. Particularly if they aren’t positive or contributing anything constructive.
Because ultimately, we are all living in glass houses, and the more stones we throw, the more we bring our own houses down around us.
We are all perfect.
It helps me to remember that whenever I feel the need to be nasty [which does happen, more than I’d like, because I am human and fabulously flawed, just like all of us].
May the wind always be at your back, and the sun upon your face, and may you always remember that just because Janice from HR made a different life choice from you, or disagreed with you in some way, it does not make her [or you] a bad person.