So last time I posted (in JULY! Where did the summer go eh!) I confessed how utterly bored I was with food.

and. err… I … errrmmm well….

So now I eat happy chicken. =S

This was pretty huge for me to be honest. Not just overcoming the fear of eating flesh (which I will come back to) but also because being vegetarian is/was a massive part of my identity for a long time. It built and built from a young age: I don’t think I have ever eaten a beef burger or a steak (and I still don’t imagine I will). From massive cows it spread, to little lambs and on to piggys, and eventually chickens. Then it really went to the edge with veganism at university, only to come back to cheese once more, and then fish, and now… well.

I’ve been thinking about it for a while, as let’s be honest, no wheat and no meat is quite restrictive and uninspiring. I am not a chef, or even a cook. I don’t enjoy creating meals and so experimenting with veggies and spices and all that lark really isn’t what I want to do with my evenings. I needed something else.

But I really didn’t know how I was going to overcome my fear of flesh. I mean, I’m still not sure I understand it. Wtf. Why do we eat flesh. Ergh. I can’t think about it too much or I might throw up my happy chicken dinner.

It is still a work in progress but I’ll be honest… It’s exciting. Food is exciting again. I’m discovering food all over again. I’m still battling with what it means for my identity and testing the boundaries of what I am happy with and what I am not (I mean, it was relatively recently I had a panic attack over a piece of beef being in my kitchen!) But I am getting there.

I’ve also eaten bacon and ham. But it does mean that Lee has to go to the farm shop a few times a week to visit the happy butcher. I still can’t face that counter myself. And when I’m out I will still often choose the veggie option.

One step at a time eh.